This song is out today. Pep Talks feat. Stac. It took over 12 years to make and release this song - a chronic case of overthinking? Perhaps. But here’s a bit of its story…
2012
Not long after finishing the mix and production of my album Bight. I was asked by a friend if I would consider writing and producing for an artist they worked with. Too nervous to take it on myself I asked my friend and bandmate, Dave Koor if he’d be up for it.
Pep Talks comes from the very first beat we wrote together, one afternoon in my flat in Strawberry Hill. “Thought1.mp3”
I Quit Myself
When Bight was released it didn’t go how we hoped and I had a bit of a crisis. I was newly self-employed and pinning way too many hopes on that record succeeding. I pressurised myself excessively, and if not on that album, then on pushing Wah Wah 45s up to new levels. It was too much.
My health was a mess, my head was a mess, one night I ended up walking disponsdently to the Twickenham emergency room because I thought I couldn’t breathe properly. That carried on for weeks. I fainted at a gig - no drink involved. I was not a happy, well person.
I “quit” Scrimshire feeling like it was causing me all the stress. In the end I didn’t make another Scrimshire record for 6 years.
Birth of a New Label
My relationship at the time came to an end, I ended up sleeping on the sofa at Dave’s house.
But we kept writing. During that time we wrote so much music that became Modified Man.
Out of that we created Albert’s Favourites with Jonny Drop, a place we intended to simply use to make and release whatever personal projects we could dream up.
In the months that followed I fell in love again with a woman I’d met and spent a year with back in 2001, we moved in together, we got married, we moved into the beautiful home we have now. I found a new kind of security and confidence.
November 2017
And throughout I still had this “Thought1.mp3” beat on my mind. And so…
In January the following year Stac sent me this under the brilliant new pseudonym Scrac and title My Love.
I was excited. As I always was when Stac sent me ideas for my songs.
Listeners
Later in 2018 I had the breakthrough moment that told me I was ready to make a new Scrimshire album - the idea was Theme For Us.
I was sure this song “My Love” would belong on this record. And Dave approved the idea of including it as a Scrimshire song.
I added new production to it, me and Stac recorded BVs for it. It became Pep Talks. I did a mix for it that I really loved.But when I was doing the final track list for Listeners, I felt it couldn’t fit. It slowed the album down too much,
Remake the whole thing
Then this year I was going to release it as a part of the stalled Believers Vol 2.
But to make it work I recorded new drums, keys, strings! I completely rebuilt it.
I was struggling to get it quite right but I was so determined. I loved this song. It would fit.
Then in Feb I had a whole change of heart about that album, a loss of confidence - I already had a PR person and submitted a first single. Then suddenly scrapped it all. The now named “Pep Talks” was once again on the sidelines.
I held it back.
I held it back. Considered putting it on the remix album but thought that was the wrong way.
Believers Vol. 1
I tried to fit it in the next album Believers Vol 1. But it didn’t make sense (we wrote something new for that instead). It was never going to fit on Nothing Feels Like Everything…
I started Believers Vol. 2 in 2022, certain that I could get this song in it.
But that album stalled for multiple reasons and I ended up making Paroxysm instead. A love song had no place in that record. I was angry and making political statements.
After a massive rethink on what I was doing with my next album, i finally settled on a way forward and sent Stac this voicenote to test the waters.
2024 - Forgotten Songs
And so here we are! 12 years of trying to get this single into the world. But today it’s actually here. A development of the very original version from 2012, with the vocals from 2017/18 with a mix I did in 2019, with new strings I added in 2023.
It’s privately soundtracked the biggest changes and journey of my adult life, it’s been consistently there in my mind for 12 years and now it’s shared with you.
It doesn’t sound like something I’d make today, but it’s a part of me and my life and it was made with two of my most loved and lasting musical collaborators. I hope you enjoy.
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